In my last post, I talked about Stuckness and moving from Stuck to Unstoppable.
But how do we do this? Sometimes it seems like a mammoth task! The sheer size of the problem can be daunting — overwhelming even. Where do I start?
Decide On What You Can Change
The first step is to decide what you can change. If you focus on what you can change, if you spend your energy on the stuff that is within your control — you’ll see that it’s easier to move past your stuckness.
So pick just one thing that you feel is within your control and then start by taking baby steps. Yes, baby steps!
I know this works. Why? Because it’s what got me from my dark place of depression and anxiety, back to loving my work again. Taking baby steps is what I still do every day to keep me moving forward.
From Baby Steps to Sprinting
We’ve looked before at some possible causes and triggers for stuckness - and yes, it was a long and overwhelming list that included:
- Feeling like you’re surrounded by “bright young things” who think they can do no wrong
- Being passed over for a promotion — more than once
- Having a workload is impossibly high and then having to put in more hours to keep up
- Not being able to get a job that pays what you’re worth; or even not being able to get a job at all
Do you feel like these are not your triggers? Then check out this worksheet where I give you a list of possible pain points.
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Check off the issues and decide which ones apply to you. Because as Maya Angelou said, “You can’t really know where you are going until you know where you have been.”
Have you done the worksheet?
Now, we also talked about how you might be feeling about all this. Confusion, self-doubt, loss of confidence, feeling invisible, resentment, stress, exhaustion, anxiety, fear, self-doubt — the list goes on!
This is where Baby Steps come in.
To solve this awful feeling of Stuckness let’s look at where you can take action. I’ve made some suggestions of the Baby Steps you could take.Loss of Confidence seems to be the biggest issue here, along with Self-Doubt and Confusion, so let’s get back to basics and remind ourselves of our strengths and skills.
- Take 5 minutes on your own and quickly write down what you’re good at.
- Make a list of 5 good friends whose opinions you respect and trust.
- Ask each of these friends, “What do you think are my strengths and skills?”
- Based on your list and the responses from your friends, rewrite your list of strengths and skills.
Now that you’re clear on just how smart and capable you are — do you notice you’re feeling more confident? Maybe a little less stuck?
Hopefully, those feelings of confusion and self-doubt have vanished too!
Other Baby Steps You Could Take
Baby Steps | If you’re feeling resentful:
- Review your new list of your strengths and skills and feel good about them.
- Get clear on exactly what/who you resent and why.
- Take 5 minutes on your own and list all the things you can be grateful for
- Perform a mindless — no strings attached — act of kindness specifically for whoever you resent.
Baby Steps | If your age is making you feel invisible/under valued in a team of millennials
- Make a commitment to do something different.
- Think about how they may actually feel — are they nervous, defensive, on the back foot, scared of you even?
- Make a list of how you might be able to help these millennials.
- Share your knowledge and experience — without judgement.
Do you notice how shifting your mindset can help you become less invisible?
Baby Steps | Feelings of tiredness, exhaustion, anxiety, fear, self-doubt?
- Again, go back to your new list of your strengths and skills.
- Review your CV. You can’t control restructuring, but you can control how ready you are for a potential redundancy (or even promotion!)
- Commit to getting to bed early, so you can get more sleep.
- Start the day by thinking of one thing you’re grateful for.
- Call a friend and organise a date go for a walk in the next few days.
These are all baby steps — designed to be easy, quick, and manageable! They may not seem like much, but take notice of how you’re feeling.
The result, you will find, is that you’re actually becoming unstuck! All those Baby Steps are somehow diminishing the Stuckness and moving you forward from Stuck to Unstoppable!
You’re feeling stronger and clearer about your strengths and skills, and about what is within your control.
The Good News
As you begin to make progress on Moving from Stuck to Unstoppable, you’ll notice that the events and conditions around you will also start to change and/or feel different. As you take back your power and control, those feelings of loss of confidence etc. will start to shift.
And those problems that are out of your control?
Even though you can’t control other peoples’ behavior or have a major influence on the predominantly young culture in your workplace, amazing things start to happen!
You’ll notice the attitudes and behavior around you also changing.
Perhaps the environment and atmosphere are becoming more collegial. You might be feeling more respected.
Why do you think that is?
From my experience, I’ve found that when I demonstrate my willingness to learn, to change, to step out of comfort zone, and to be courageous; I come across as more authentic — and that means, more empowered.
The shift in your attitude and confidence becomes strangely infectious. You might be feeling more a part of the team and less like the oldie.
As you start to feel better about yourself, you’ll find yourself taking even more baby steps.
Baby Steps Work!
You don’t even have to know all the steps to start with. Just taking one step — one small step — will move you from your stuckness.
And if tomorrow, you decide to change direction, so what? Because you only took one small step, you can change your mind and take a different one.
And, yay! You made a decision and you’ve taken action! You’re on the move!
What’s one baby step you can take today to get you moving forward?
Have another look at that worksheet and commit to one baby step today.
Staying on the move from stuck to unstoppable requires a change of mindset. In the next post we’ll look at the mindset needed for good self care.
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